Brilliant, and to be honest a little spooky. After 4 yrs of retirement I was just pondering the other day that perhaps I need some sort of coach to hold me accountable to doing the things I want and can easily afford to do. Perhaps it's just granting myself the permission.
Loved this article! Thank you. For all of us who were raised to be 'careful' with money, it can be a challenge to move into a new relationship with it. What I love about what you've written is the underlying notion of abundance, that enjoying retirement can be about enjoying more fully what we have and letting go of our 'scarcity' mindset.
Another example of why you're one of the best retirement writers on the planet, Dan. Insightful article, and spot on. I've learned to give myself permission, and my life is better for it (so is my wife's, and she just loves her new 2026 Toyota 4Runner).
Granted, I'm 57 and not retired until 60, but I cannot imagine anything that is *less* likely to be a problem for me than this. Work has always been an unwanted imposition and *I can't wait* for the things I'm going to do in retirement.
I hope that's the case! Retirement certainly is an adjustment, including the odd sensation from knowing you're now in spending mode vs. earning mode. Keep this author's suggestions in mind. Good luck.
This is an outstanding articulation of something I suspect many people feel but struggle to describe. The idea that work quietly provides “permission structures” for spending, rest, enjoyment, and even identity really resonated with me.
What strikes me most is that retirement may create financial freedom long before it creates psychological freedom. Many people seem prepared to accumulate wealth, but far less prepared to actually live inside the freedom they spent decades building.
Another great read, Dan! I see a lot of people around me (some of them very close, and some of them, sometimes, actually me ;)) struggling with this exact issue. Thank you for putting it across so clearly, there’s a lot to be remembered, and shared here 🙏
A 67 year old retired client of mine this week told me her 2017 Lincoln needs a new transmission. She asked me how expensive of a repair would warrant her needing to shop for another car instead. Her net worth is over $9,000,000. 🤦♀️ I implored her to go car shopping regardless, and now she’s happily test driving options. Sometimes my job as a financial advisor is simply to give permission!
I'm two years into retirement and permission has yet to be granted on a consistent basis. I've been able to do it a few times here and there but the consistency is lacking.
I think one other angle to this is when one spouse is comfortable granting permission and the other is hesitant.
What helps me personally is that I have a living financial model (spreadsheet) that gives me some idea what my situation will be 20 years from now. It's not 100% accurate. But it started as a 30 year model before I retired. It's accurate enough. It allows me to see what my situation is likely to be if I... take that vacation... buy that shiny new car. These sorts of models aren't very available (I developed my own), but they should be. It ain't rocket science. But it takes enough time and touch labor that financial planners likely couldn't charge enough for it to be profitable for them. Monte Carlo simulations are much cheaper, but they don't really get granular enough for me personally. My current life motto (at age 70) is, "If not now, when?"
I 'flipped' about 8 years ago when I 'retired.' Interestingly, while I took a trip to Australia, then France, Spain, and England with my youngest, I also went back to work! Not because I needed the money, but because I missed the work. As a mental health therapist, I now have the 'freedom' to try and flip my clients! Carry on!
These exhortations by a certain segment of retirement gurus (here trying to give it an intellectual gloss by blathering about the Protestant work ethic, or in America, the Puritans) to spend more because "you deserve it!" are tiresome.
Absolutely nailed it! I think it goes back to when we were children and our parents telling us how foolish we were for buying a candy bar or a comic book.
Brilliant, and to be honest a little spooky. After 4 yrs of retirement I was just pondering the other day that perhaps I need some sort of coach to hold me accountable to doing the things I want and can easily afford to do. Perhaps it's just granting myself the permission.
Loved this article! Thank you. For all of us who were raised to be 'careful' with money, it can be a challenge to move into a new relationship with it. What I love about what you've written is the underlying notion of abundance, that enjoying retirement can be about enjoying more fully what we have and letting go of our 'scarcity' mindset.
Another example of why you're one of the best retirement writers on the planet, Dan. Insightful article, and spot on. I've learned to give myself permission, and my life is better for it (so is my wife's, and she just loves her new 2026 Toyota 4Runner).
Granted, I'm 57 and not retired until 60, but I cannot imagine anything that is *less* likely to be a problem for me than this. Work has always been an unwanted imposition and *I can't wait* for the things I'm going to do in retirement.
I hope that's the case! Retirement certainly is an adjustment, including the odd sensation from knowing you're now in spending mode vs. earning mode. Keep this author's suggestions in mind. Good luck.
This is an outstanding articulation of something I suspect many people feel but struggle to describe. The idea that work quietly provides “permission structures” for spending, rest, enjoyment, and even identity really resonated with me.
What strikes me most is that retirement may create financial freedom long before it creates psychological freedom. Many people seem prepared to accumulate wealth, but far less prepared to actually live inside the freedom they spent decades building.
This is the kick in the butt I needed to hear today. I’ve been thinking about a home renovation and hesitating over the cost. I’m going to do it!
Another great read, Dan! I see a lot of people around me (some of them very close, and some of them, sometimes, actually me ;)) struggling with this exact issue. Thank you for putting it across so clearly, there’s a lot to be remembered, and shared here 🙏
A 67 year old retired client of mine this week told me her 2017 Lincoln needs a new transmission. She asked me how expensive of a repair would warrant her needing to shop for another car instead. Her net worth is over $9,000,000. 🤦♀️ I implored her to go car shopping regardless, and now she’s happily test driving options. Sometimes my job as a financial advisor is simply to give permission!
I'm two years into retirement and permission has yet to be granted on a consistent basis. I've been able to do it a few times here and there but the consistency is lacking.
I think one other angle to this is when one spouse is comfortable granting permission and the other is hesitant.
Thank you. Very good read the book die with zero, which is a bit extreme but has some great themes.
What helps me personally is that I have a living financial model (spreadsheet) that gives me some idea what my situation will be 20 years from now. It's not 100% accurate. But it started as a 30 year model before I retired. It's accurate enough. It allows me to see what my situation is likely to be if I... take that vacation... buy that shiny new car. These sorts of models aren't very available (I developed my own), but they should be. It ain't rocket science. But it takes enough time and touch labor that financial planners likely couldn't charge enough for it to be profitable for them. Monte Carlo simulations are much cheaper, but they don't really get granular enough for me personally. My current life motto (at age 70) is, "If not now, when?"
I 'flipped' about 8 years ago when I 'retired.' Interestingly, while I took a trip to Australia, then France, Spain, and England with my youngest, I also went back to work! Not because I needed the money, but because I missed the work. As a mental health therapist, I now have the 'freedom' to try and flip my clients! Carry on!
These exhortations by a certain segment of retirement gurus (here trying to give it an intellectual gloss by blathering about the Protestant work ethic, or in America, the Puritans) to spend more because "you deserve it!" are tiresome.
Absolutely nailed it! I think it goes back to when we were children and our parents telling us how foolish we were for buying a candy bar or a comic book.
Oh boy, I hear absolutely everything you’re saying and I want to let it sink in … but I find myself resisting. What if? What if?
I join you!
Fantastic article. Thank you for this reminder